PITTSBURGH, Pa. — Nothing.

No fancy lead in.

No thoughtful or catchy one-liner for an opener.

Not even a corny paragraph to make you scratch or shake your head or even laugh.

I got nothing after the Bengals went into Pittsburgh and forgot how to play football on Saturday, and lost 34-11 to the Steelers at Acrisure Stadium.

There was, however, some chatter and laughter in the press box — about how Pittsburgh third-string quarterback (Mason) Rudolph guided his team to victory much like the beloved, red-nosed reindeer guided Santa Clause on Christmas Eve.

But I thought that was corny — even for me.

The Bengals blew it.

They stunk.

They were not prepared.

They got drilled by a third-string QB and a team which was struggling.

The win puts the Steelers at 8-7, the same as Cincinnati, and completes this season’s sweep of the Black and Orange.

“We put ourselves in a hole really quick and got down 21-0.” Bengals head coach Zac Taylor said. “And when you do that, it changes the flow of the game. You don’t get a chance to play how you want to. Turnovers on offense and missed opportunities on defense.”

Cincinnati remains winless (0-5) against AFC North teams this year, and tossed a three-game winning streak down the tubes — when they desperately needed to make it four in a row.

And speaking of down the tubes, so goes real odds of making the NFL playoffs.

They can still slide in, but it will take more than just winning out the final two games.

All the planets will have to align, and some teams will have to lose that usually win.

But who knows?

The Bengals (8-7) could go into Kansas City and knock off the Chiefs and win the final home game against Cleveland – which beat them in Week 1, and somehow squeak into the postseason.

Wait.

I’m sorry.

Did I write that for everyone to see?

I thought it was just wishful thinking, or my mind wondering aimlessly in hopes of making reservations for Las Vegas.

“In no area did we play a winning performance,” said Bengals defensive end Sam Hubbard. “We have to take accountability. We still have a lot to play for. (We have) two games left.”

After Saturday’s embarrassing loss, Who Dey fans cannot blame the fact that wide receiver and playmaker Ja’Marr Chase did not play — because Pittsburgh’s All-Pro safety Minka Fitzpatrick also did not suit up.

That made it fair all around, because both teams played with backup QBs.

Bengals quarterback Jake Browning came crashing down to Earth after a three-game winning streak during which he seemed unflappable.

On Saturday, he threw for 335 yards and had one touchdown and three interceptions — two in the first half.

The last time he faced the Steelers, (his first start after Joe Burrow went down) Cincinnati lost at Paycor Stadium 16-10 on Nov. 26.

“I didn’t play well against (the Steelers) the first time either,” Browning said. “They do a good job of disguising stuff and rushing the passer.”

What does he need to do?

“I got to find a way to make my bad plays better,’” Browning said. “Anytime a quarterback throws three picks, you’re not going to win many games. That’s really kind of where it’s at. Got a find a way to not to have turnovers and throw the ball away or dump it off.”

Pittsburgh turned three Bengal turnovers into 17 points.

“It was little things in the game that allowed them to have momentum at home,” Taylor said. “When that happens, it’s hard to get it back.”

On the other end, Rudolph — the third-string QB for the Steelers — went for 290 yards with two touchdowns and a passer rating of 124.0.

In his career at Pittsburgh, he is 3-0 against the Bengals — and 2-5-1 against the other teams he has faced as a starter.

He’s got the Bengals by the tail.

“He was Mason,” Pittsburgh head coach Mike Tomlin said. “We talked about it early in the week. He has a belief in himself. He’s aggressive in his play style. Thought he did a really good job not displaying a lot of rust for a guy that hadn’t played a lot.”

And Pittsburgh wide receiver George Pickens had the game of his life.

He caught six passes for 195 yards with two touchdowns, including an 86-yard TD dash on the Steelers’ second play from scrimmage at the 10:45 mark in the first quarter to set the tone.

“Man, he made some smash plays that was needed,” Tomlin said about Pickens. “His pedigree showed, no doubt.”

He also scored on a 66-yard reception with 9:38 left in the third quarter, increasing Pittsburgh’s lead to 31-8.

“Any time you get behind any team it’s tough,” Browning said. “They rushed the passer well and caused issues. It makes it tougher, but I got to find a way to turn those three picks into incompletions. Throwaways or check-downs.

What now?

The last time Browning played this bad he responded with a huge upset win at Jacksonville — and whipped off three straight wins for the Bengals.

“I need to have the best week I possibly can,” Browning said. “I need to try to find a way to improve throughout this week and learn from this.”

What about the playoff picture for the Bengals?

Playoffs?

Playoffs?

That brings back memories of Jim Mora’s infamous press conference in 2001— when he coached the Indianapolis Colts.

They can make it in – but a win in Kansas City is a MUST win…again.

Some things never change.