When parents are left behind


By Melissa Martin



Martin

Martin


One moment your child is there. And the next moment your child is gone. Remembering broken hearted parents over the holiday season breaks your own heart, but reminds you to hug your own children closer.

We try to empathize, but will never feel the burden because we have not received that earth-shattering call, identified her/his body at a morgue, or stood at the graveside as the casket was lowered into the ground. We have not experienced the trauma of finding our child injured or deceased. We can only imagine their emotional pain when life is forever changed.

Katie Fox, a 32-year-old woman was killed October 6, 2019, in Columbus, Ohio in a car accident. Married around one year, she was still a newlywed. And my daughter’s best friend at the workplace.

The Airy parents know that excruciating pain of loss and grief that no parent wants. Their 18-year-old Ohio University student, Jordyn Lee Airy, died by suicide Sept. 17, 2019.

The Cincinnati parents of Otto Warmbier have memories of their 21-year-old son, but it’s not enough. He died in 2017 under the regime of a megalomaniac. They want justice for his tragic death. And so, do I.

The murder of Reagan Tokes occurred on the night of February 8, 2017, in Grove City, Ohio. The Reagan Tokes Act was introduced to the Ohio House and Senate and addresses the sentencing and monitoring of serious offenders, but will not bring Reagan back into the arms of her parents.

On June 25, 2019, Zane Kohlenberg, a 15-month-old, drowned in the family pool in a town in Ohio, according to an article in The Toledo Blade.Drowning is the leading cause of injury deaths in children ages 1-4 in the State of Ohio, and the second leading cause of unintentional injury deaths in children aged 5-9 and 10-14, according to the Toledo-Lucas County Health Dept.

An average of 60 cancer deaths occurred each year among children and adolescents in Ohio during 2012-2016, according to the Ohio Department of Health.

According to the Ohio Dept. of Health, in 2015-2016, the total number of fetal deaths was 1,854 in Ohio. “Fetal death, fetal demise, stillbirth, and stillborn all refer to a fetus that is born without signs of life.”

“Our Story. In May of 2000, our lives changed forever. On Mother’s Day evening, we rushed our only son, Bobby, to the emergency room with a high fever. Though we knew something was wrong, we both expected it to be only a matter of hours until we were home again. Unfortunately, we did not come home until the next evening, and we did so without our son. Bobby died from bacterial meningitis at the age of three years old.” Mark and Christi Tripodi established the bereavement care center. Learn about Cornerstone of Hope’s Annual Christmas Candle Lighting and Remembrance Ceremony in Cleveland or Columbus, Ohio.

“Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope.”—Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Speaking In Tears: The Poetry In Griefis a touching book of poems. “Memories saturate my heart and the story of you spills from my eyes,” writes Grace Andren as she writes about the death of her young daughter, Andrea.

Death by disease, accident, suicide, murder, or unknown cause. Let’s remember the parents of precious deceased children this holiday season.

Martin
https://www.portsmouth-dailytimes.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/28/2019/11/web1_Melissa-Martin-2.jpgMartin

By Melissa Martin

Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and therapist. She lives in Scioto County.

She can be reached at melissamartincounselor@live.com

Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and therapist. She lives in Scioto County.

She can be reached at melissamartincounselor@live.com