This recurring dream I have reveals how an acquaintance of mine, a chemist, spilled some of a concoction he was experimenting with onto a pair of sunglasses lying nearby.
It materialized into a thin, clear, hard coating that covered the right hand lens.
“You can have these if you want them,” he told me one day when I was visiting. “You might use them when you’re out fishing. You can still see through them. I put them on and could see all around the lab here.”
I took them and put them in my tackle box. One day I was out fishing and had forgotten my sunglasses. I pulled them out and put them on.
LOOK! BIG BASS!
The results were amazing, startling, fantastic! By squinting my left eye I could see through the chemical-coated side … 30 to 40 feet below the murky surface! Just as clearly as I could see the trees and hills surrounding the lake.
I could see all the underwater structure and every big bass lurking within. When I guided my lure right under their noses, whether or not they were feeding, they struck.
To make a longer story short, I floated a bank loan and sponsored myself on the Bass Master circuit. I won every tournament, right on up to the Classic, where no other pro was within 12 pounds of my winning total.
I was soon famous and, more importantly, rich.
I was out fishing with Bill Dance when he lost his sunglasses in the lake. Could he possibly share mine?
Can you say no to Bill Dance?
That’s when I always wake up.
I wrote here last Saturday about the ingenuity of a neighborhood squirrel who raided my bird feeder on a regular basis. That prompted a response from a reader, Steve Stewart. He writes:
Dear Mr. Piatt,
I was tired of an overweight red squirrel emptying my bird feeder so I greased the metal pole that held it.
My son and I greatly enjoyed watching it try and try again to climb up and slip down. He had grown fat raiding my feeder and was not about to give up easily.
He left but we soon heard him on the roof, which gave him access to an awning close to the feeder.
I surmise that the residual oil on his feet prevented him from gaining purchase on the awning. He slid off and sailed through the air with feet flailing. I give him an A for effort, an A for ingenuity. and an A+ for entertainment value.
TEDDY ON IMMIGRANTS
Immigration is a hot topic of debate these days, whether it comes in town halls or from anglers and hunters on the water and in the woods. Theodore Roosevelt had his ideas on the subject when he spoke in 1907 about being an American:
“In the first place,” he said, “ we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person’s becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American…There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn’t an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag… We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language… and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.”
Reach G. SAM PIATT at firstname.lastname@example.org or (606) 932-3619.