It has become a ritual. Every year, I make my choice. Root canal or the Demolition Derby. I always choose the less painful of the two - root canal. However, as the majority stockholder in the Lewis family, I am always out-voted by my wife.

Joyce loves the Scioto County Fair Demolition Derby, and what's not to love?

Arrive at 3 p.m., tape a blanket down on the grandstand to "stake your claim," on a spot, then look at the backs of people who stand throughout the entire event.

There is nothing more fun than trying to wash off your hands a mixture of dried cola and dirt.

I am also always amazed at the people who stand against the railing and then complain when they get hit with mud thrown by the spinning tires on a '86 Chevy station wagon spray-painted with, "thanks mom, Clarice, Tommy, and Dreama."

I get a tear in my eye just thinking about it, or is that from the fumes from the row after row of cars built before catalytic converters?

So again in 2008, I will tape down the blanket, go and carry back shoestring fries, frozen chocolate covered bananas, a couple of funnel cakes and a Diet Pepsi, trying to edge my way through the crowd, again ending up with sticky fingers, and no place to wash them without losing my seat.

Now, here is the part I hope you won't share with Joyce. I actually enjoy being with her at any event. We have been Demolition Derby-ing for nearly 41 years, and watching her stand and cheer for her favorite driver is really nearly as much fun as the event itself. Okay, let me come clean. Watching her enjoy the Demolition Derby is MORE fun than the event.

So bring on the mud. Bring on the heavy exhaust fumes. Bring on the banging and crashing of metal on metal. I am prepared.

Got a blanket, a cooler full of ice and pop, and a chance to hold hands with my best girl.

Hey, come to think of it, the Demo Derby is pretty fun after all. Please ignore all of those other things I just wrote. Have a great fair!

FRANK LEWIS can be reached at (740) 353-3101, ext. 232.