Dahl earned more than $15 million during a six-month period in 1975. The pet rock sold for $3.95 and it was estimated Dahl sold more than 5 million of his pet rocks in a six-month period.
Now, let's look at Portsmouth's pet rock, better known as Indian Head Rock. It was removed from the Ohio River, and now Mayor Kalb wants to claim it as his own personal world's largest pet rock.
Now, here's a way to pay for all the Marting's renovation and the new justice building on Washington Street. The mayor could market small chips of this rock sitting on a piece of old used automobile tire and include a "Pet Indian Rock Training Manual," containing instructions on how to properly care for one's pet Indian rock, including how to house-train it by placing it on a piece of newspaper and other commands including sit, stay, roll over and play dead.
Perhaps Portsmouth could promote a Pet Indian Head rock festival, with parades bringing thousands of tourists to stay in the new mystery hotel on Second Street, which Kalb keeps dangling in front of city council.
Kalb could convince the citizens these pet Indian head rock chips support this argument through their very existence, and clearly display that it is not the actual item that brings joy to the citizens' mind, but merely the idea of the item, much like the Marting's Foundation told City Council of the great deal on the purchase of the $2 million Marting's building.
City Council is planning to tax us for the renovation, although the voters said no by a 2-1 margin.
Perhaps the city will hire a consulting psychologist on how to convince the voters on their great ideas. They maybe could consider putting pool tables and pinball machines on the first floor to better sell the Marting's renovation.
Why tax the citizens for council's poor decisions, like turning down the train depot for $1. What a tragic mistake, now that would have been a true historic site.
The good part of marketing these pet Indian rock chips would be, we could gather more rocks if demand necessitates off our shore without crossing state lines and violating any laws. If the mayor can convince voters and property taxpayers into maintaining three large city buildings, then surely he could sell this pet rock idea and not burden the property owners with more taxes to build and maintain these multi-city complexes from now until the end of the world.
It may not sound like much up front, but as utilities and fuel costs soar; so will the cost of maintaining these three buildings. How many citizens will visit the city building to warrant a multimillion-dollar lavish office just for our own personal existing pet rock?