I was just sitting around doing nothing Wednesday when I began to ponder the upcoming American crisis. No, I’m not talking about the immigration issue, or the zika virus, something much worse. What will this country do if Amy Schumer moves away? The comedian said she is going to have to learn another language because the idea of staying in the United States if Donald Trump wins is just “too crazy.”
Schumer joins several other so-called celebrities such as Chelsea Handler, Lena Dunham and Jon Stewart, who says he may leave the planet.
We have enough shortages already. What would happen if one more spoiled, overrated, overpaid Hollywood type would choose to leave this country? I can’t wrap my head around it. Who would have their chauffer drive their gas-guzzler to the next global warming conference? Who would we pay millions to to pretend they really have an interest in some public service ad?
America needs Hollywood types to tell us how terrible we are and how to vote. If Amy Schumer leaves, how will we know what to do when we walk into our polling places? This country was built on the backs of B-movie elitists and taking 10 or 20 out of our country would create a shortage of boorish overachievers to stand on awards shows and show us they can use bad language and hate our heritage all in one fell swoop.
Please Hollywood stars, don’t leave our country and go to the other country where you can dupe people into giving you millions for maybe the least skillful job on earth. Oh wait, there is no other country that will give you millions for the unskilled job of looking down your nose at middle-American citizens, those crazy people who have spent their lives working for a living and buying tickets to your movies, thus giving you the open invitation to share your bleeding-heart liberal jibberish with us on our TV screens.
I actually believe there are very few Americans who are in any way swayed by a Hollywood elitist as to how to vote, so I really don’t care at all. I just wanted to do my duty as an American and try to beg a movie star not to leave us when we need them most.
And if you buy that, I have some property in Florida I want to sell you when the tide rolls out.
Reach Frank Lewis at 740-353-3101, ext. 1928, or on Twitter @franklewis.